Stop Resistance and Self-Sabotage!
Do you ever wonder why, despite all of the work that you’ve done on yourself, that you are still earning less than you’d like, carrying those unwanted pounds, and/or feeling dissatisfied with your life?
Why do you continue to avoid behavior that you know could help you? Why do you sabotage yourself every time your life seems to be getting better?
I’ve heard the stories a thousand times:
- “I had money saved, but my car broke down and I had to use the money to fix it.”
- “Keeping track of my money felt great, but for some reason I stopped after a few months.”
- “I finally lost the extra 30 pounds I was carrying, then gained them back.”
- “I keep staring at the piles of paper in my office and want to clear the clutter, but I just can’t get myself to actually do it.”
- “Last year, I earned more than I ever did before, and now I’m right back where I was.”
- “No matter how much I earn, there never seems to be any extra.”
It’s a well-known fact that although people want their lives to change, they will avoid altering the behaviors that can lead to lasting change. I wanted to know why.
The Identity Factor
I finally realized that there’s a good reason why people apparently sabotage their progress or resist making the changes that can move their life in a positive direction. I call it the Identity Factor.
The Identity Factor is a mechanism that kicks in every time you instigate external or internal change, The result are feelings that indicates, “This just doesn’t feel like me.” It’s uncomfortable and disorienting.
And to make matters worse, as you begin to change, you may get pushback from either your peer group or your family of origin. You signed up for change, they didn’t, and they’ll do whatever is necessary protect the status quo.
Understanding the Identity Factor is essential if you are serious about earning more, getting past “just-enough,” or finally realizing your dream of long-term success. If you don’t learn to recognize when this mechanism is in play, you’re bound to fall prey to its effects.
There is no quick-and-easy fix to counteract the Identity Factor because its effects are subtle and go deep into your psyche. But, you can learn to recognize when it’s in play so you can gradually — and permanently — alter the patterns of your past and move your life in a positive direction.
Recently I was talking to a man who had spent tens of thousands of dollars on coaching, books, and other materials hoping to find a “cure” for his pattern of earning high bucks, then losing everything. I could tell that his feelings of loss, disappointment, and confusion were long-standing and explained that he’d have to be willing to give up his victim position and expectation of abandonment and betrayal.
That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He wanted to know how quickly he could change his patterns, stop feeling the way he did, and start generating more revenue. He didn’t want to know that there were numerous thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns he would have to recognize, release, and replace.
Over the past 25 years, I’ve worked with thousands of people who have had a strong desire to live their lives in a different way. Most have experienced positive results, but only those who were willing to understand and work with the Identity Factor were able to permanently turn their lives around.
The Identity Factor is a complex issue, too complex to fully explain in such a short article. So I’ve decided to do a webinar on the topic. I hope you’ll join me on June 12 for this ground-breaking event.