As I point out in Build Your Money Muscles, we create our life stories to act out habitual emotions that range from constable to uncomfortable. If you often find yourself experiencing uncomfortable situations, not that these can often be reversed when you  come to understand why you need them.

Because of my history of compulsive debting, I have had plenty of opportunities to examine the whys of debting. My father was a compulsive debtor and I  learned to use debting as a way of expressing many feelings that included shame, embarrassment, fear of abandonment, unworthiness and more.

First, let’s look at the dynamic of debting. In every debting relationship there is  obviously a debtor and a lender. Institutions, such as banks, make money when  they lend money, and so do individuals — sometimes. However, many individual  lenders have the same kind of emotional needs as debtors. Continue reading →